Bearing My Boss's Baby (An MPreg Romance) Read online

  Claude nearly dropped his drink.

  "Uh, I don't know what to tell you," he mumbled, staring off into the rosebushes as though they contained some kind of answer that wouldn't make his mother worry.

  "It just happened so fast!" she said. "We'd hardly met him once! But then, I suppose you've been working together for a while."

  "Yeah." The word came out of Claude's mouth slowly, almost fading away to nothing.

  His mom beamed at him. "I'm so glad you're happy."

  He nodded, wordless, taking another sip of his drink to hide his face for a second. This was why he'd been avoiding his parents, wasn't it? It was too hard to lie to them. It had seemed easy over the phone, where they couldn't see his face as he lay on his back on his new, enormous bed and stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling and wondered just what he was doing with his life. It was harder now, sitting in his parents' yard like it was any old weekend, looking ahead to what his life would become.

  "If only you didn't live so far away," his mom said, resting her chin on her hand as she watched him. "Is there anything you need? I could come down any time you wanted...?"

  The idea struck a certain kind of terror into Claude's heart, one that was only made worse by the realization that she was going to turn up in Kevin's apartment at some point. And then there would have to be all kinds of explanations that Claude didn't want to make. No two ways around it. He couldn't convince Kevin to love him for real—why on earth would Kevin want to pretend in front of his parents?

  "No, no," he said, trying to paste a smile across his face. "Everything's fine."

  "Are you sure?" She peered at him with that mom look, like she could see right into his head if she just squinted hard enough. "I'm worried that you're here all of a sudden. No notice or anything. It's lovely to see you, of course, but are you sure everything's fine?"

  Claude laughed nervously. "Of course. I just missed you guys, and I have a lot of time now. Kevin's given me the time off work, so..."

  She leaned forward and patted his hand. "And now you're bored?" Her chuckle was annoyingly knowing. "You'll appreciate the rest once the baby comes, dear."

  "Oh, totally," Claude said, feeling like a liar as he said it. "But I won't get to come out here as much, that's all."

  "We can come to you!" his mother said firmly. "We wouldn't miss our first grandchild for anything! How could you think that?" She beamed at him again, her earlier suspicion melted into fondness. "If there isn't enough room at your place, we'll get a hotel. I know I could have used the help when you were born."

  "Thanks," Claude squeaked. He could see it all now, the awkward conversations unfurling in front of him as though he'd suddenly been granted psychic powers. The worst part was how much he wanted the future his parents were imagining for him, the loving relationship with Kevin that they'd projected on the two of them in blissful ignorance. It was hard enough to admit that he and Kevin were co-parents, nothing more. It was worse when he thought about how much he wished that wasn't true.

  He fumbled with his glass while his mother watched him, trying desperately to come up with something to say that might turn the conversation away from these treacherous waters, to regain that peace he'd felt walking into his childhood home.

  "Did you have a fight with Kevin?" his mother said suddenly. "These things happen, you know. All those hormones..."

  Claude stared at her for a long moment, and burst, horrified, into hot tears. His mom leaned forward to embrace him, patting him comfortingly on the back. "Pregnancy's like that, dear," she said. "Just let the hormones cry it out. It'll all be fine once you've had a day or two to cool off."

  It wouldn't be fine, but she didn't know that, and here, letting his tears sink into the smooth cotton of her blouse, Claude didn't need to tell her anything at all.

  Chapter 22

  Kevin

  The house was one of a half dozen almost identical houses, on the kind of suburban street where nothing whatsoever was stirring in the middle of the day. The dead silence after Kevin had turned off his car's engine almost deterred him, but he was certain that Claude was here. It didn't matter how unattractive here was. In the summer heat, even the bees seemed too lazy to flit around the bushes in the front yard, and the only sound came from the faint rustling of leaves in a breeze that never quite seemed to reach far enough to cool the sweat that prickled faintly on the back of Kevin's neck. Or maybe he was just psyching himself out with nerves. That was possible too.

  He wiped his clammy hands on the inside of his pockets and walked up the wide, shallow steps onto Claude's parents' front porch. This house looked just as alone as the rest of the block, but he'd driven all this way, and he could wait on the porch all day if necessary. He swallowed, hard, and rang the doorbell.

  No sound came from the house. Kevin shoved his hands in his pockets and resisted the urge to ring the bell again, just to make sure. The net curtain across the window in the door blocked his view of the interior, but he stared at it anyway, hoping for some hint that anyone was home.

  The curtain twitched fractionally, faster than Kevin could figure out what was behind it, and then the door was swinging open smoothly, revealing Claude, standing there barefoot and puzzled, looking glorious.

  Until he saw Claude, Kevin hadn't realized how much he'd been worrying that something had gone wrong, that Claude was sick or injured or that something awful had happened. But here he was, looking like a breath of fresh air—if a deeply suspicious one—and Kevin felt a weight lift from his shoulders.

  "Kevin?" Claude said, incredulously.

  "Are you okay?" Kevin blurted. "Is everything all right?"

  Claude looked even more visibly startled. "I'm fine." He leaned against the door frame. "Didn't you get my note?"

  "I did," Kevin admitted. "But you didn't say all that much, and I was worried. Are you sure everything is fine?"

  "Yeah," Claude said, with a half-hearted smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Totally fine."

  "Are you coming home?" Kevin said, hating the fact that he even had to ask the question.

  Claude wrapped his arms around himself, one hand curled around the side of his belly in a gesture so tender that Kevin wanted to get down on his knees and kiss Claude's fingertips. "I don't know." He looked away, back down the dim hallway into the house. "No. That's a lie. I'm not coming back."

  Kevin didn't even realize he'd sprung forward until he looked down into Claude's wide eyes staring up at him. He drew away, startled. "You can't just leave it at that," he said, the raw emotion in his voice as much a surprise to him as it seemed to be for Claude.

  "What do you want me to say?" Claude said, his eyes wide and shiny. "I just don't think I can do it anymore."

  "Do what?" Kevin wanted to fall on his knees and beg Claude to return, or at least to start making more sense. "If there's something wrong, I'll fix it. If there's something you can't do, I'll get someone to do it for you."

  Claude made a noise that could have been a sob, or a gulp of almost hysterical laughter. "That's the problem. You keep thinking you can fix things."

  "Problems are made to be fixed," Kevin protested. "What is it that you need? I'll do anything."

  "You can't do anything about this one," Claude muttered.

  Kevin's chest swelled with indignation. "Try me."

  Claude made the noise again. "You can't fix everything," he said gently. "You just can't. There's nothing you can do about this one."

  "Are you sure?" Kevin said, gentling his voice and trying to squash the forceful response he could feel welling up inside him. "I'd do my best."

  "We just don't want the same things." Claude shrugged. "I've known that all along. I just thought I could live with it. And I can't."

  "Are you sure?" Kevin reached out his hand, stopping just short of Claude's arm as Claude flinched away from the touch. "What do you want? I'll move heaven and earth to get it." He was pushing too far, that was obvious, but it seemed impossible now to stop. If Claude was lost to him
—and Kevin wasn't prepared to believe that yet—then he had to know why and how and if it was something he'd done.

  "It's not like that." Claude's face twisted with a sorrow that made Kevin's heart pound and his limbs fill with a buzzing energy, as though he was holding himself back from action, even though he had no idea what action he could take. He took a gasping breath, leaning against the open door as if for support. "I want it to be real, you know?"

  "For what to be real?" Kevin was prepared to go pull down the moon for Claude, not for more riddles.

  "Everything." Claude shook his head. "All this. Whatever seemed to be between us." His chest was heaving now, his breath coming in hard, deep gasps as though it was fighting against the measured cadence of his words. "I thought being co-parents would be enough. But it was too hard to be alone with you on vacation, to allow myself to pretend that what I felt was real and you were feeling the same thing. Especially when we got home..."

  He trailed off, looking away, and Kevin had to force himself not to step forward again and embrace Claude with all the passion he'd been repressing for so long.

  "I can't not be in love with you," Claude continued after a long and painful moment. "So I have to get away. You'll see the baby. It'll all be fine. But I can't live with you and be reminded every day of what I want and I can't have."

  "Wait—" Kevin said, stunned beyond belief. "Why didn't—?" None of his sentences seemed to have real endings, but then, neither did any of his thoughts. The interior of his skull felt like it was swept clean, or maybe blown away by the force of Claude's words.

  "I should have told you before, I know," Claude said, looking away, down the dimly lit hallway into the house. "But I'd been rejected once. I couldn't stand to have you reject me again."

  That was too much for Kevin after all. He pressed forward, even in the face of Claude's pained expression, seizing one of Claude's hands between his own. "I would never," Kevin said, letting the emotions he'd been suppressing color his voice.

  Claude's nose wrinkled dismissively. "I know you didn't mean it in a bad way," he said, his voice quiet and defeated. "I don't blame you."

  "No!" The vehemence in his own voice came as much of a surprise to Kevin as it did to Claude, who jerked backwards, away from Kevin's hands. "I mean... That's not what I meant. I'm in love with you."

  "What?" Claude sounded angrier now, but at least he was looking at Kevin again, his eyes almost flashing sparks as he stared deep into Kevin's face. Kevin wasn't sure what he was seeing there. He hoped it was the truth of his feelings.

  "I love you," Kevin said again. "I love you, and I miss you when you're gone, and I want our relationship to be whatever you want it to be."

  "That's not what you said before," Claude said accusatorily, his chin thrust forward with a determination that was in no way dampened by his height and condition.

  "I was trying to follow your lead," Kevin protested. "You didn't seem to want anything to do with me."

  "I was following your lead," Claude snapped. "You tried to buy me off into silence with a new suit...!" His voice trailed off as it rose in pitch, fueled by outrage.

  "I tore your old one!" Kevin said. "Was I supposed to not pay for it?"

  "You could have explained yourself," Claude said, turning his face aside again.

  Kevin reached out to him, his fingers light on the curve of Claude's jaw, his voice softening. "I could have," he said. "I should have. But I want to make up for my mistakes now. Doesn't that count for anything?"

  "What, you only care now that I'm no longer doing everything you say?" Claude said grumpily, but he didn't push Kevin's hand away.

  "I was trying not to pressure you," Kevin said, only now seeing just how inadequate an excuse that was.

  Claude snorted. "Oh, so it was fine to pressure me into moving in with you, or going to the Bahamas, but not to talk about your feelings for five minutes?"

  "I want to be part of our baby's life," Kevin said. "Whatever happens between us. I meant that when I said it before, and I still do. I didn't know how to show you that. I think I screwed it up."

  "Just a little," Claude allowed. He sighed. "Tell me again?"

  "I love you," Kevin said, unsure if that was what Claude was trying to say, but he'd already jumped feet first into this current. He might as well keep going until the end. "I want to be with you. As everything. As co-parents, and more. Lovers."

  Claude looked at him sidelong, from underneath his long lashes. "I don't believe you."

  "Please." Kevin lifted his other hand to cradle Claude's cheek, pulling Claude's face towards him. "Believe me." He leaned in and their lips met, soft and slow at first, but picking up speed to a hungry, devouring rhythm as Kevin pressed forward, pushing Claude back against the door.

  They broke apart, still holding onto one another, their chests rising and falling together as they gulped down dizzying amounts of air.

  "That was fairly convincing," Claude said, his voice breathy and shaken.

  "Good." Kevin leaned down to kiss him again.

  Chapter 23

  Claude

  Could he really have been this tightly wound, this closely held together without noticing it? Claude could feel himself beginning to unfurl like a rose, or maybe just melt into Kevin's embrace as he leaned his head against the solid chest in front of him and sighed in happiness and relief. Kevin leaned down, cupping his hand around Claude's cheek, and lifting Claude's face to meet his, their lips meeting tentatively at first, like a pair of dancers shuffling back and forth before the rhythm took them.

  Claude clutched at Kevin's shirt, the texture of the weave under his fingers the only thing that felt truly real in this unreal moment. Kevin felt real too: the warmth of his body, the solidity of the arms that encircled Claude, the wet heat of his tongue as he licked his way into Claude's mouth. But all of that was too new, too unexpected, to feel real.

  Love wasn't the only thing that seemed to be blooming in Claude's chest, expanding into this new light as though it had only been waiting for the chance. There was heat there too, desire that seemed as though it was taking him over, inch by inch, hot and real and demanding as it had never been before. He didn't want to hear Kevin's protestations of love. He wanted to feel them, to have them made tangibly real here and now.

  He ducked from under Kevin's arm where it was braced against the wall. It wasn't as easy as it would have been before the baby, but he rose again and headed for the stairs, tugging Kevin along by one hand.

  Kevin blinked at him. "Are we—? Is this—?" His sentences seemed to stutter to a halt on their own as if the impact of his words was too much for him to imagine, but his feet kept moving in Claude's wake.

  Claude headed up the stairs. He felt light and free, as though he could do anything, even with the weight of his pregnancy keeping him to one stair at a time. Kevin's hand, clutched in his, was warm and smooth, his grip sure and steady. Laughter started bubbling up out of Claude's chest, helpless and happy, like light swelling up inside him. He turned back to Kevin, watching his lover's expression morph from confusion to happiness, his smile blossoming across his face until Claude's heart was full nearly to bursting. Kevin tried to pull Claude back into his warm, solid embrace, but Claude was determined now, unwilling to wait even an instant to get what he'd wanted for so long.

  "Come on," Claude said, his words broken up by the laughter that still seemed to be flowing endlessly out of him. He squeezed Kevin's hand, tugging him up another few stairs and pushing him forward into his bedroom, marveling at how easily Kevin let himself be moved.

  He closed the door firmly behind them both as he followed Kevin into the room. It had been redecorated years ago, almost as soon as he'd moved out, so there was no trace of his childhood left unless you knew where you were looking, and his parents weren't expected home until much later. Still, Claude felt the weirdness of the situation, right up until Kevin swept him up again and kissed him breathless, clearly feeling only the same desperation that Claud
e felt, and none of the oddness.

  Claude kissed back, his head tipping back under Kevin's pressure, letting Kevin take over and show him the truth of all those pretty words they'd said downstairs. Kevin's hand slipped down his back, every touch sending a million shivers down his spine, a million sparks through his chest. There was a want, a desire, in every touch that seemed to mean so much more than it ever had before, a desire for Claude, for all of him, not just his body or as someone Kevin was obliged to take care of. A real feeling, one that seemed so clear that Claude couldn't imagine how he hadn't noticed the lack before, how he'd ever convinced himself that what they'd had was anything like enough.

  "Come home with me," Kevin murmured, his words vibrating against Claude's sensitized skin.

  Claude gasped and looked down at him, eyes slitted. "You mean after we fuck, right?" he said, his hand sliding along Kevin's arm.

  "Well, obviously," Kevin said, "I just wanted to make sure." He went back to biting kisses along Claude's neck that made him clutch at the slippery fabric of Kevin's shirt.

  Kevin mouthed lower on his neck, hot and wet, and Claude whimpered, his knees buckling under him until he almost fell onto the old green carpet. Kevin could probably push him over right now, Claude thought blissfully, and he'd just go, facedown on the bed, ready to have his brains fucked out of him.

  But that wasn't what was happening. Despite the hunger in his kisses, in the nip of his teeth against the smooth skin of Claude's neck, Kevin's hands were soft and gentle, pushing Claude's shirt up, over the curve of his belly and then over his head, forcing Claude to relinquish his death grip on Kevin's shirt. He sucked in a breath as he tossed away the offending garment, and Claude had a momentary urge to cover himself, no longer driven by hormones into shamelessness, suddenly aware of how much his body had changed. But there was no time to cover himself, no way to do it when his arms had fallen around Kevin's neck and Kevin was leaning in to kiss him again.